Dear Future Self :
The most important advice I have is to STOP WORRYING and let go control! I drove myself crazy trying to control Catherine's sleep schedule and habits. While some structure is important, and there are a few general habits that I believe are important to teach, a huge dose of relaxation and humor would have made this transition a lot easier. In particular, it was vital for my well being to stop reading so much about baby sleep and schedules. I know a lot about it and I was only really able to enjoy Catherine when I stopped reading and comparing her to other babies and sleep methods.
A few reminders:
- Newborns (probably up to 3 months or so) are awake in the evening. They don't usually have an "early bedtime". For Catherine, the 6pm bedtime came in around 3-4 months. No need to stress about having a newborn awake long past the toddler. In fact, I think it even helps them to sleep longer stretches if they are awake more during these hours.
- There are basically only two options: "Cry it out" or "Give the baby what he/ she needs." Until you are ready to let the baby learn to self soothe, there is no sense really worrying about sleep habits. For Claire, that was at about 2 months. For Catherine, it was more like 4-5 months. Until this point, Catherine was swaddled and with a pacifier in her crib, and that worked great for her. She also "finished' a lot of naps in her swing (more on naps later). Rather than stressing about these "sleep props" I wish I would have just accepted that she was young enough to use them to get back to sleep.
- Both my girls were chronic "Short nappers." They consistently woke up at about 45 minutes for almost every nap until we switched to two naps (at about 6.5 months). Since they woke up happy, there is no reason to "worry" about it! The beauty of short naps is that they can take them on the run, and they allow more flexibility since you don't have to be stuck at home for so long! Moving to the swing after the 45 minute wake up was a nice option, but not always necessary.
- Catherine dropped the 4th nap at about 3 months (I think) and the 3rd nap at about 6.5 months. Even at 7.5 months, if I don't keep her up until 10am for her morning nap, it is only about 45 minutes.
- Next time around I plan to do more "baby wearing...." especially until 6 weeks. I think it is good for them to have some naps in their crib, but honestly it is difficult to start any habits at such a young age. It is nice to have the baby close to you so you don't have to keep checking and they can sleep better there anyway.
- The only habit I intend to change for next time is to really practice the bottle at least 3 - 4 times a week. Catherine took the bottle from about 2-4 weeks, but the next time we tried (8 weeks?) she refused. She started taking a sippy cup of formula at about 6 months.
- Landmarks of "improvement:
* 6 weeks : my body felt recovered, things started to feel "normal," I was able to start cooking some meals because the family was adjusted
*3 months : earlier bedtime, dropped second MOTN feeding, more alone time with B
*6 months: down to two (longer) naps, naps synched up so more quiet time during the day. This is when I have really started to feel like things are coming together
While it's hard to imagine having another little one in the house someday, I am already starting to see what a gift he/she would be to our family. Claire adores Catherine and in many ways, her presence has made us more of a "family" than we were at just three!
Love,
Sleeping Through the Night Again (finally!) Marie - April 2012 (Written during a looooong quiet naptime!)
